10 Signs You Might Be Genderqueer
Hey there, bud-dey.
Its 2018, people are shouting “gender identity is separate from your sexuality” from the rooftops. You know what queer is, but… What is genderqueer? What is non-binary? What are gender non-conforming identities? Well, there are variety of gender identities that fall somewhere between male and female. As a show of support for our trans and gender non-conforming allies, you must explore gender! Put yourself in someone else’s shoes, then you can fully understand and appreciate what they experience. Play around with your spectrum! First, reflect on your personal sense of gender. Have you always felt strongly one way or the other? Many don’t feel strongly connected to one gender or another, so why are we all so committed to the gender binary? Shouldn’t there be a third option, at least? Minimum three genders IMO. Here is a handy list of 10 insights that might help you reflect on your gender identity:
- You dress across the spectrum
Flannel on Monday, skirt on Tuesday, jeans and a t-shirt on Wednesday, shirt and tie on Thursday, casual sun-dress on Friday, basketball-shorts on Saturday followed by sweatpants on Sunday? You can rock it all. You’re just one of those people that looks and feels great in about everything. Why let gender norms and expectations define your wardrobe? Chances are your dad is wrong; you can totally wear a suit and tie to prom AND have your corsage too. Challenging what is acceptable and expressing yourself day-to-day? You might be genderqueer.
2. Your friends are Co-ed
Do you have meaningful relationships with humans that aren’t sexual? Do they secretly think you’re in love with them? Are they more than one gender? Congratulations, you might be comfortable kicking it with everyone. Gender awareness is very hip, very sleek, very sexy, but also a great quality in a friend. Keep it up, Chuck; you might just have friends to text after your mom calls. Oh also, you might be genderqueer. Why? It makes it easier for you to empathize.
3. You go through masc/femme phases
Sometimes you feel more confident presenting masculine, sometimes you feel more confident presenting feminine. I get you! If you sometimes feel like you’re overflowing with feminine energy, channel it. If you sometimes feel like you need to be seen and validated as masculine, be the man you truly are! There is no right or wrong way to experience your gender. You don’t always have to shout it from the rooftops, (unless you want to!)? If you want a shorter haircut, or you want to try that dress on in the window, express yourself! Don’t waste any more time worryin’ about tomorrow.
4. Your friends think you’re queer
Gender and sexuality are NOT LINKED! However, if your friends always think you’re queer even though you don’t identify as queer, maybe it’s because you’re sending mixed gender vibes! I repeat, there is nothing about gender that is inherently linked to a set specific sexuality. Being transgender, non-binary or gender non-conforming has nothing to do with sexuality. Maybe your friends think you’re queer because your personality encompasses more than one clear expression of gender. Most confuse gender and sexuality. Before you get angry with your friends, understand that many are misinformed about gender identity and sexuality. Non-binary and genderqueer perspectives are unique and invaluable!
5. You ARE Queer! 😮
Something about questioning the way our society works, rebelling through your sexuality, and facing lifelong rejection and discrimination on the basis of your sexual orientation might make you think: what else could I be doing to free my soul? Explore gender! Dive in! The water is whatever you want it to be. There are no megasharks in the gender pool, or giant octupi. You don’t have to announce your gender curiosity to the world, you don’t even have to ever understand it. Why not explore your gender? There is no reason not to explore your gender, you have no obligation to linger where you’ve wandered. Also, there is no such thing as “transtrenders”. Don’t even go there with me right now.
6. Your sexuality doesn’t seem to stay put
Are you always trying new things in the bedroom? Are you always coming up with some new something, switching things up, trying new positions and changing up the power dynamic with your sexual partner(s)? You might be genderqueer. You’re sexually empowered, there’s nothing more to it! It’s understandable to not want to overthink things. There is no need to drag gender into your sexual expression. However, if you’re often doing it anyway and you LOVE IT, you might be genderqueer! Sexual pleasure is a righteous source of self-expression and empowerment. Why limit yourself to the sex and gender you were assigned at birth?
7. You act differently around different genders
Relationships are complicated; platonic and sexual alike. Each individual will bring out different things in you. Do you feel like different versions of yourself when you talk to different genders? Do they bring out different expressions of your gender? Do you feel confident and empowered when in the company of both genders, equally in different ways? You might be genderqueer. Some are extroverted around a certain genders and introverted around the other(s). Some, when reading this listicle used they/them/their pronouns and stopped basing their life around the gender binary. Sadly, others only read articles for the pictures.
8. Your hobbies and interests aren’t stereotypical
Stereotypes are gross generalizations, but oftentimes they hit the nail right on the head. Do you actively seek out atypical hobbies and interests for your assigned gender at birth? You’re either raised by progressives, staunchly independent, a self-aware individual, or you’re genderqueer. You could be all of the above, but only in theory. If you have all the individual rings, you’ve probably already been to Mordor to forge it into the ring to rule them all. You don’t need this listicle.
9. You socially fantasize about being another gender
Do you ever wish you could go out with the guys, drink 15-20 servings of alcohol and climb lampposts after the big win? You would!! But it would kill you right, since you usually get hammered on four beers and pass out texting your ex before the end of the game. What about when you went through that bad breakup and your friends insisted on spending a whole day at the spa, ordering spring rolls and watching When Harry Met Sally? You wish! But you’re a cis male whose male friends wouldn’t be caught dead getting a pedicure. Sucks to suck, right? NO! You might damn well be a genderqueer, Bud-dey.
10. You sexually fantasize about being another gender
Have you ever been enjoying sexual intercourse, but had to imagine another scenario in order to climax? Did that other scenario maybe involve thinking of yourself in a different way? Like say, with different parts? Have you ever thought of your butthole as a pussy? Is your cock secretly a clit? Is your pussy getting hammered, or is your pussy the hammer? These are the questions we must ask ourselves. If you fantasize about having other characteristics during sex, being able to perform sex acts that you need different equipment to do (ejaculation, insemination, pussies, dicks, ect.) you might find it rewarding to explore your gender identity!
Are you pissed off? Are you turned on? Are you feeling feels? Welcome to the club, Bud-DEY. Biological sex creates different physical features, but sex and gender are on a spectrum. If you had a strong response to this, it might be because this s*$& don’t sit well with you. Ask yourself: why would something that no one has to know, that I don’t need to verbally acknowledge upset me? You can be genderqueer and never transition medically or surgically. You don’t need to be anything other than yourself. You don’t need to dress any certain way, you don’t need to act a certain way, you just need to be your authentic self. Your gender identity is not someone else’s decision, so don’t ask permission and don’t be afraid to change your mind. Life is too short to pretend you’re someone that you’re not.
Disclaimer: You don’t need gender at all. You can just say no thanks to all of it. It’s called being agender!