There is a lot of other stuff I would rather blog about.
Lots of experiences I’ve had that I think are way more important than all this stupid shit I write instead.
Loads more important than all the poems and all the manifestos and all the melodramas.
Infinitely more essential than the petty things I quibble about.
Things that take up all the space in my head.
Things that make me wonder why the world is the way it is, and what anyone has ever said
What suggestion has been made
That hasn’t been ignored?
I am living the same conundrum in my head.
I know I should be saying one thing, but
I preach the other instead.
I want to quit, I want to hide
I want to destroy you with your vanity.
I don’t. I write what comes out,
I let my fears slip out and when I do
It makes more room. I try to fill it with things I find
More qualitative, but oftentimes
I can’t help but notice
That we are all stuck here, together
Forever. There is no such thing as
Quality. Only quantity, and quandaries
And quarrels and quests and quickies and
No ducks, for some reason.
Who killed all the pretty ducks in Kentucky?
What’s a he/she gotta do to see a sexy duck around here ?
Maybe it’s my own perspective
Trapped inward, looking inside every move
Every thought, every trip to an alternate reality.
I knew I wasn’t normal,
And I learned that that was bad
But what they never told me
Was all the fun I was bound to have
Maybe they knew, maybe they warned me
Maybe that’s what all the torment was for
I’m making up time, on my own now
I’ve made a life worth living for
I could tell you the truth, the whole story
But then we’d all be sad
The better story, the story I’m desiring
Is what I’d rather write down, edit,
Witness, and adhere.
Oh god, I’m alive–still
Don’t you think I’d rather be dead,
At this point?
It makes the most sense.
I don’t. I like life.
It’s hilarious, to me.
I laugh in new ways everyday. It helps me
Get through the day.
But I guess that is a defense
And others are put-off by it
I wish I could help with this but sadly
I don’t give a shit.
I would sooner kill myself than crack one less joke,
Make one less quip.
Fuck all y’all. Attitude check…?!?!