Hormones

I identify as male

But to be honest with you

I don’t want any surgery

I don’t want any hormones, right now even

I just wish people called me sir

And let me take up as much space

As I need.

I changed my name

Not many people call me by it, yet

Not even myself,

To be honest.

She still calls me “she”–on instinct

I might start hormones, in a week.

So, very soon.

I am afraid of what my family will say

They will not take kindly to this news

They might not take kindly to me

They might not say my new name

They might not want to look at me

But to be honest

How different would that be?

I think I should potentially

Stop living my life

For other people

But the truth is

If I did that

I’d be on my own

I’ve been there before

It’s not a place I’d like to visit

And I sure as hell can’t stay

Anyway,

I might have to shave, soon

Won’t that be a trip

Down everyday lane

I already do

Maybe hormones won’t be

Such a big deal, after all

I’ve been living in the middle

Being treated like a trans guy

Since I was three feet tall

I’ve got a hormonal disorder

That makes my hormones a bit both

So I’m like

Androgynous anyway

I went to a trans guy meetup

And I was like

Lmfao these guys ain’t got no meat

And they’re on t

I’m like

99.99% thicc bitch muscle-tits

I can make em’ bounce

My girlfriend laughs her ass of when I dance them

Why am I worried

Why am I upset

Why am I self-sabotaging

Why am I closeted

I am already a freak

God made me this way

Living this truth is just

Lying a little bit less

Than yesterday


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