Chances are—You’re in a Cult

I’d sooner start a cult

Than join one.

————

Anyway.

I see a lot of people

On Facebook, mostly

Who say they aren’t in cults, IRL

but like

Wth!

On Facebook they are

Absolutely in a cult.

Very culty.

The cultiest

Vegans?

Cult.

Bodybuilding?

Cult.

Excessive NPR tiny desk concert re-posts?

Cult.

Various diets, crash and otherwise?

Various cults.

Religion?

Cult.

Atheism?

Cult.

Agnostics?

Eh, I dunno.

Sports teams? Hobby to professional?

Cult.

Favorite band?

Cult.

Favorite TV show?

Cult.

Liked “firefly”, but a bit too much?

Cult.

Climate change deniers?

Cult.

Climate change fighters?

Cult.

College educated?

Cult.

School of life educated?

Cult.

Office job?

Cult.

McDonald’s?

Cult.

Literally ANY BRAND in America–

Cult!

Especially the place

I buy my cargo pants

I am a devoted member of that cult

By pure happenstance

Favorite coffee shop?

Cult.

Favorite book?

Cult.

Take more than one breath in a row?

You’re starting a breathing cult.

Ok maybe not

The last one.

But…

—————

Nobody understands you !!!

So you might as well just

Try and find your cult–

I suppose

———-

What if I just

Cut off all my toes

Posted the photo

And started a movement

The

“Cool bitches don’t need no toes”

Cult

Our signature move will be

Wob wob wobblin’

Come to our meeting!

We have a real

Sense of community

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