First Shot

It’s been done

No more “what if?”

No more denying myself

The curiosity was overwhelming

So I dove right in

How did I celebrate my first shot

Of my new gender?

Why, glad you asked–

No one.

I tried to call a friend but they

Didn’t answer, they are probably having

A very fun Friday night

Being a person

When that flopped, I went to

The grocery store

And stared at pears for a good long while

I fought with my in-laws today

And I am struggling to make sense

Of myself and my identity

And who and what the fuck I am

I don’t know

My brain is buzzing

My skin is buzzing

My fingers are buzzing

But my brain

Is weirdly

Silent.

I wonder if this is the proof

I was looking for

The silence I’ve been seeking

I’ve only been

On a quarter of a dose

Not even one worth mentioning

I argued today

With everyone about everything

And right before

My girlfriend put the needle in my butt

I asked myself

“Is this what I…”

I didn’t finish the thought

Because the shot was done

I had no regrets

Immediately


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