Enough—!

I think I’m done with periods now

Maybe some spotting

Later

You know,

When the

Endometriosis kicks in

Fuckin’

Why’d I do this, again?

Right!

I’m supposedly a man.

I think so, I’ve got the

Entitlement for it.

Fair enough, right buddy?

Hahah ok enough

ENOUGH

god I hate that word

The dismissal of a lifetime

When I was a child, it was

Enough!!!”

Now that I’m grown I am

Never enough

Always needs improvement

I worry this will transfer

Straight into my transition

A never ending monsoon of

Disappointment blended with

Curdling ambition

To be a man without any

Preposition

A woman who took her own room

And complained until she

Changed her name,

Moved,

Tried again.

Why the fuck would I try

Something this insane?

Who am I fooling?

Not me

I literally referred to it as

“My experiment”, today

I have zero intention of

Stopping any of this

I just think of it as an experiment

Anyway.

Why?

I couldn’t really say

I think about almost everything this way

Life is an experiment

I’ve been taking notes

While you all have been

Prattling on about nonsense,

Competing over who’s thin

And who’s pretty

I just take notes

Record the nitty gritty

I’ve known that eventually

I will need to defend myself

In my entirety

I am not enough, you see

None of us are

Enough is too final for anyone

Death is enough, I guess

Lame, not even

My death

Will be enough

I need to have a legacy

To even feel properly free

This lifetime is not enough for me

I need four, five,

A million and a few hundred thousand

Centuries

Immortality?

I would rather be a

God, crafting the fabric

Of what you can be

Control-freak?

Bitch, please

The form of thought

Is what I aspire to be

A cloud, condensing

Forming a dense thickness

Clouding my judgement

Separating me

I can’t tell

If I’m the dumbest person on the earth

Or if I’m just

The opposite

Enough of this, demons

Let me be

Why am I stuck

In a filter of grime

Slithering from place to place

A disgrace, not enough

Never enough

Striving, dying

Failing enough

Enough to be considered

A man of great sacrifice

I guess that title

Will suffice


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