Masturbation Storytime

During the period of time in my life

When I had a roommate

That I wasn’t sexually involved with

I had this particular sort of


Where I couldn’t really masturbate

In private

Very easily.

I pretty much always

Jack off in order to

Go to sleep.

Otherwise I just lay there

Awake for eternity

Thinking about sad things

Sexy things are far superior

I’d much rather think about

Boobies and butts and stuff

You know, my adult mobile

When I’m done whacking

I usually fall fast asleep

Peacefully, only occasionally

Haunted by dreams of

What I conjured in order

To finish. Lmao. Oh god.

Yeah I’m not exactly


Now that I realized I’m

Trans it’s like


Ok bruh I get it”

But still

For a while there

I was furiously whacking it

With roommates present

These poor ass bitches

Had to listen to my creaking

Every single night

I’d name them in memoriam

But wouldn’t that be

Twice the shame?

They know who they are


I would whack it and jack it and massage

Myself all night long sometimes

And I’d do it all

In the name of insomnia

It’s fucking true though,

To be honest with ya.

I’m so glad

I have a partner

And a sex life

That I don’t have to hide

Under the covers

I can orgasm with

The volume on, now.

Boy, man, Jesus Christ, yo

We’ve even gotten

Noise complaints

I guess, in some ways

It’s more of the same

Sexy sexing sexers

Fucking loudly

Getting complaints from

Sexless sad suckers

Avoiding intimacy, seeking

Sleep and routine

Hah ok right

Now I sound obscene

Self-righteous and

A bit addicted

Fucking whatever man

I’ve got urges

If I’ve got an itch,

You bet I’ll scratch it

2 Replies to “Masturbation Storytime”

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