I Wanna Be A REAL Writer

Other people write so beautifully

I often wonder if I oughtta

You know–

Spruce it up a little

Throw in some imagery every

Once in a while

Sling a few synonyms

Make a few metaphors

Describe the color of the

Handbag, you know–

Details and shit

I ain’t got time for that

I don’t even notice it when I’m

Living it

The fuck color is anyone’s handbag


I wouldn’t notice

Any woman’s clothing

Unless she talked to me about it

Is that what that’s all for?

Conversation starters?

I don’t bite, sorry

I think maybe

Stripping down, or

Swim suit-level

Is the quickest way to my heart.

They say men’s hearts are in their

Stomachs, but mine is in my


Who am I, even?

Just some guy who used to be

A walking lesbian romcom

Daydreaming about romance

Imagining myself as Ryan Gosling

Hoisting Rachel McAdams in the rain

Bringing juke boxes and

Saving the last dance

You know,

Straight ppl shit

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