«PLEASE! Listen to Me» A Dog’s Tale


The other day

At the grocery store

Where a lot of my

Worst interactions with people

Tend to happen

This lady had her dog

In the store with her

And she leaned down

And yelled into it’s ear

“PLEASE, listen to me!!!!!”

Like the dog spoke English

Or fear

Or something that that lady could

Speak fluently

The dog just kinda

Stood there


I don’t think it was embarrassing anyone

I think that might’ve just been

That lady

Whisper-screaming to her dog

In the grocery store

Hey man, at least I didn’t get

Fat-heckled on this trip

Sucks that that dog had to

Put its tail up it’s ass

While it was

Minding its own business

Kinda like I do


I think I’m just pissed because

That lady would’ve been

Talking to me that way

If she hadn’t had that dog there

To distract her

Thanks, buddy

I guess dogs really are

A man’s best defense

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