Got an email

Two days after our lease ended

About how

The cobwebs

On the ceiling

Will forfeit

Our two month’s rent

Security deposit.

I wonder how afraid

Our dear landlord is

Of spiders?

The cob-variety, specifically.

We went back to investigate

After already having given them the keys

And ended our lease

To evacuate these

Security-deposit reducing


I wonder what the hell

Kind of idiot demon asshole

Says “I wanna screw people–


Becomes a rental company

And does the shit these people do?

Fuck all of humanity

I have given up

I am turning in my keys

I am


With all y’all.


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