Locker Room Talk

The hard truth

That people cannot accept

About my obesity

Is that I am a success

As I am.

I have lost weight, and kept it off

I have triumphed over surgeries and

Have managed to maintain my weight

Which no one in my family

Is capable of doing.

I am still fat, I am

“fit fat”, if that makes sense

I will never be as thin

As someone who was never fat.

But I am not

The size I would be

If I lived

The way you treat me.

Thank you,

Though

For letting me know

That I am not worthy

Of basic decency

Until I’m small enough

To be considered human

In the eyes of a stranger

Lecturing me

Naked, in the locker room

At the gym

Thank you for berating me

as I changed clothing

Telling me not to give up on myself

More than I already have

I tell you what, asshole

If I had given up on myself

I wouldn’t be here

At the fucking gym

You stupid piece of shit

You goddamn cunt motherfucking asswipe

Ahhhhh shit

Ok yeah maybe I should just

Leave it alone

Go back to being

By myself, attempting to

Exist, unburdened.

I will, the moment

People quit making me question

Whether or not I’m human

And whether or not humanity

Has any part in any of this

I wonder if they know

That men and women

Are different?

I wonder if

The other women even

Know about it, yet?

You know-=the part where

We are supposed to be fatter than men

So that we can bear their children

The women I know

Hate fat and hate women the most

Sometimes you find

A short guy who thinks

Fat women are less than dogs, but

Usually just cuz he’s like

Got a lot of complexes about his pee pee

Anyway, I’m pissed

I got harassed, and I haven’t truly

Gotten over it.

She did it when I was naked!

I fucking hate women

They have been the primary source of my pain

hmmmmmm

If I was dumber, I might almost

Even say that gender is to blame.

Nah, just

Extreme animal-instinct level

Hatred of fat people.

Normal Saturday night nonsense.


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