Softball Bitches/Accepting My Fate

When I was

In middle school

I was super fucking good at

Softball. No surprises.

I’m like, pretty dang coordinated

Ifm I do say so

And crazy strong

yehm.

And also like,

Very fast. Despite being

Like, three people stacked into

One.

I was good at softball.

In highschool, I focused on

Band and tried to be less

Dykey and also all the girls

Picked on me so fucking much

omfg

It was like

I don’t really remember the details,

Honestly. I’ve blacked it out.

Anyway, I was really good at

Softball but I tried to be less good

Because it was so unbelievably

Gay to be a fucking huge misshappen

Weirdly athletic bulldyke on steroids

Picking their beard and getting

Milk on their stache and then

Farting because of lactose intolerance

I would do curls in my

Bedroom and situps before bed

I think maybe I convinced myself

That people would like me more if I was

Muscly and stuff

That has not really been true, so far

I think maybe the testosterone

Will push me over the edge

Soon people might even call me

“bro” or some shit I won’t

respond to.

Anyway, I’ve only been on this

Little baby dose and I’m already

Much, much stronger than I used to be

I think maybe soon I might pass

For what I feel I am inside

A huge wall of

“don’t fuck with this,

not even a little bit”

I’m so ready to

Clear sidewalks and

Make people’s lives

Flash before their eyes

I’m ready to be a big wall of

Muscle meat mixed with

Heaven thighs

I’m like, kinda short?

But not “too-short”

Whatever that is

I am still taller than my partner

So like, by straight people standards

We’ll be normal, I guess

I think I’ll always look

Pretty fucking weird, but

Maybe that’s just because

Of what those girls told me

Way back in softball tryouts

Before 9th grade

When I like, had

Zero sense of self

And no plans to be anything

Other than a try hard

People pleasing

Sadness machine

Thank fucking god I realized

I was gay and started the

Painful process of

Accepting my fate!

Now, dare I say

I’m genuinely happy, I’m

So grateful to be this way.

 

 

 


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