Raise Hell

So I’ll be honest

I became very inspired

After seeing Roxane gay

On live TV interviews a few times

That is how she reached me first.

I bought her book

Hunger and her book

Bad feminist.

I read bad feminist and I thought to myself

“When the fuck did I black out

And write this

And not ever know?”

Clearly I would never

Take credit for her work,

I mostly mean

It hit me really, really hard.

So hard, I didn’t really want

To read Hunger–

I felt like I already knew

I already knew her problems

I thought they were mine

Alas

I read hunger finally

And they are not my problems

This is not my story

It isn’t even really

My experience. We have

Many, many shared ones

But now I’m worried

I have to tell my own story

As beautifully and as she did

I am not capable

I have different talents than she

I have to find a way

To tell people

My perspective

No one has

Ever met me

I’ve never seen my story told, either

I’ve never seen myself

Represented

I’ve never met anyone

Like me.

I’m not trying to

Toot my own horn

I’m trying to acknowledge

That super morbidly obese kids

Usually don’t become anything

Other than depressed

Or obsessed with

Losing and maintaining weight

Above all else

For their whole lives.

I am the latter, but I’m also

Creative.

I’ve been writing since I was a

Kid.

I just never told anyone

Or showed anyone

My teachers all noticed

Some of them interfered

I avoided them, my mom would

Attack me for it

Any attention was

Competition so

I had to be

Undesirable so she

Looked great by

Comparison.

I have had to hide

My talents since the

Beginning

I am now

Sick of hiding

I am pale and sick and

Frail

I am coming out

And I’m ready to

Raise hell.


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