Molly

I met

Molly

She is nice

She is a bit

Boring? Honestly

She makes everything seem

Fun and easy

She also takes my

Pain away completely

Very unusual feeling

Haven’t felt this way

Since before the weight came

Back when I was three

I’ve met molly before

Briefly

Only half of a lady

She’s like

A therapist in press

She made me realize

I was sick and that it

Wasn’t my fault

She was the reason

I went to Cleveland and

Got diagnosed.

I avoided meeting

Molly for the longest time.

My ex met her

And lost interest in

All other things

I’ve been scared I’ll

Meet her and

Do the same.

I don’t think this is

Nearly interesting enough

To do over and over and over again

It’s fun I guess

Sex was amazing

I performed better than usual

But I also like

Barely came

Acid at least

Makes my dick 4D

Anyway

Molly is kinda lame

I should have known

My ex was such a

Basic Becky bully bitch

Beside herself with

Anxiety and self-loathing

Not the best recipe for

Anything truly revealing

Like weed or LSD

Too scared of gaining weight

To ever be a drunk

Anyway, molly is fun

But not as fun

As good conversation

With someone who

Says they love you

When their sober

And shows it

When they’re hammered, too

She told me she loved me

Every single day

Lots and lots when she

Broke up with me

Now I’m convinced

I’ll find a drug

I’ll find a perspective

I’ll experience something

That will prevent me

From ever being

Fucked over like that

Ever again

Since all of that

I have been

Fucked over time and time again

Life is about fucking

I guess

I’m here to get fucked

In all the ways I wish I wasn’t

And none of the ways

I wish I was

Kind of like

My experiences with drugs

I really wish

Molly hadn’t made my

Dick so numb

I wish I was

Capable of learning from my mistakes

I wish I didn’t

Desire trust

Desire love

Desire ambition

Desire connection

I wish I could just

Take drugs and

Pretend like things are fine

But when I try new things

I just see things

With new eyes

And it makes me realize

How lucky I am to be alive

I’m sure tomorrow

I will want to die

I will write sad, angsty poems

Accusing you all of

Horrible things and calling you out on your

Lies

I preemptively

Apologize

For how bad those poems

Will inevitably be

I don’t do this for likes

I do this for myself

I do this for my life

I do this to prove to myself

Who I am and what I think like

Because otherwise

I’d just forget

Roll

Move on

And forget bow to cry

About the mistakes I’ve made

The people I’ve loved

And the rejection I’ve swallowed

The amount of pride

I carry

Would break the back of any man

Good thing I used to be

A fat woman and my

Thighs are load-bearing

One day

I’ll understand

Why this morbid curiosity

Holds me so tightly

Until then

I will maybe try

Rolling again, sometime

Soon, a fuller-figured woman

I will seduce her

And make her cum

Over and over and over again

Goddamn never mind

It makes my dick so

Fucking numb, man!

Lame.


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