My Most Embarrassing Moment

The podcast is embarrassing

However

It doesn’t even come close

To this thing I did

Entirely on my own

That haunts me

Each day.

*Ahem*

In college I worked in the library

I would work like, loads of hours

Because you could get away with most anything

And just do  your homework and listen to music

And daydream

For like, $14/hr

It was the frickin best

Anyway

I worked there a lot, because it was like

Genuinely relaxing.

I saw all the regulars

I was a regular myself

There was this lady

Who would come in

Every Thursday  morning

And scan a bunch of scores

For her church music services

She was nice, and we usually talked

For a bit

She also looked

Eerily exactly like

One of my friend’s moms

Who was like

The same height, same weight

Same age same hair same everything

Same everything!!

One time

I was working a double shift

While also working on a

Massive project when I wasn’t working

So I pretty  much just

Lived in the library, talking to no one, ever

Inputting music into sibelius and

Shelving books in the rare section

Where no one ever, ever goes

Ever

I think I might’ve been leaving

For a few hours at a time

To go practice

By myself in a small room

In a different building

Usually walked far enough

To be winded and to

See one or two faces, but still

Utterly isolated

If I remember correctly

It was also cold as fucking hell

Probably 0 degrees or at least -10f

Chicago is bullshit, anyway

I saw this lady

This regular

In the basement

Where no one is supposed to be

And for a moment

I hallucinated

I just saw her

As Ms. Olanky

I saw her plain as day

As my friend’s mom

and screamed

“OH MY GOODNESS

IT’S SO GOOD TO SEE YOU

HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN IN TOWN?

WHERE IS ROBERT? IS HE IN CLASS?

DO YOU NEED HELP GETTING AROUND?”

She looked at me

As if I was some sort of

Nutcase here to drool on her

For a bit before they send me to

Solitary

Because

Well

I was acting

Exactly like that

Also I was extremely, extremely solitary

So like

That’s what I was

I guess

I was like

Oh man this story is funny

But now I’m just

More embarrassed even from

Telling it

I should bottle more things up

 

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