Normal Childhood–Nothing To See Here

I used to think

I had a normally abnormal

Super morbidly obese

American childhood

But now I realise that

The other fat kids

Have full-sized toes

And skin that stayed whole

And didn’t have some

Organs removed when they were

Twenty four.

I was finally diagnosed correctly

With cushings syndrome

From my asthma medication

As a child and into my youth, young adulthood

All the way up until now

I’ve had problems

No one else has to deal with

And I’ve been treated

As if I am some

Stupid fat bitch

Who whines and complains and

Puts her problems onto others

As if I am somehow weak

I am not sure

How someone

In my position

Could be weak, and survive

Quite literally my bones

Would break

They often did, I broke

Both my arms and I broke

My leg in two places. I’ve had

Hairline fractures in other places

In every limb

I’ve been taunted by my peers

Only to hear my teacher join in

I’ve experienced a kind of childhood

That most people would

Give in to

I know that I am not weak

I am tired of the association

Of weakness

I am tired of the association

Of ignorance

I am also just

So fucking tired of all of this

I no longer wish to be alive

But I also REFUSE to quit

I am supposed to show all of you

What you missed

When you were

Tormenting me and

Patronizing me and

Expecting less than

You’d ever expect

Of anyone else

I can’t wait

To spit on your faces

And piss on your wounds

And laugh and laugh and laugh

The way my sister used to


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