Embarrassing Date Story

Some lady had some kind of

Heart attack called

Broken heart syndrome after

Eating way way too much wasabi


But the thing is

When I first met my partner like

Forever ago, we weren’t even dating

But I was

Completely obsessed with her

Pretty much immediately. She was

Having sushi with her friends at some

Restaurant so I decided I would

Stop by and try to make

All of them laugh as hard and as long

As I possibly could

So I did —

They are all little woodwind flute ladies

It’s like ridiculously easy to make them giggle

They love giggling— anyway–

After I had a good gaggle of giggles going

I decided I’d take it to the next level

I took my (not yet) partner’s wasabi

And added it my own

And grabbed my friend’s too, maybe?

I was like

“I love spicy food

Nothing is too spicy for me”

And then I ate like

Three portions of wasabi smooshed

Into a golf-ball sized thing

Chewed it swallowed it

Felt manly then

Felt very queasy

But like

That’s not sexy

So I just kinda

“Was already too full to eat–

From dinner” or something

And quickly ran back to my

Dorm and wondered

Why isn’t she into me?!

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