Spirituality

I know I know I know

Wtf becky

You can’t talk about spirituality

After you wrote all those

Awful, awful poems about how

Much Jesus sucks his own

Pee pee”

I get it. But– hear me out–

I was raised Christian and conservative and

I had to slowly come to realize that I was a

Piggy in a wolf pen

So then I got scared, okay?!

Understandable

Also, Christian people

Throughout my life

Have been the most hypocritical,

Idiotic and narcissistic people

I’ve ever had the misfortune of

Praying with. That being said–

I am very spiritual

I have to be!

My body has been nonstop

Challenging me, daily

Since before I knew my

Home phone number.

I am spiritual because

I need to believe

In a higher power

Because what else

Could be

The meaning

Behind any of this?!

Why else would I even

Ask why?!

What purpose is there

To any of my suffering

Any of this exile

Any of this grotesque marring

Of who I am inside

Why would any of this happen

To anyone

If god wasn’t watching

Sitting up there on her

High horse, watching me open

Each gift she gave me

One by one

Hoping I can understand how to use them

To help piece together all the

Whys

I am a skeptic

I am agnostic I am

A nonbeliever and I also

Believe in magic

I believe in fate

I believe in things I simply

Can’t understand

And I also believe

I have been gifted

By someone who isn’t

Here with me

Whether it be my

Ancestors or my spirituality

I understand why I have to

Hurt so badly


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