Batman Shower Curtain
Also one time some
Friends of mine came over and we had
Cigars and whiskey and I had lots more
Weed and everyone was talking and laughing and
Enjoying the crips November air
One of my friends got
Ridiculously drunk? I don’t understand–
We only had two whiskeys each, and he was
On the floor. I think he might’ve been
Drunk already, or something. Anyway he then
Got really sick and was basically just like
Not really there or with us at all he was so fucking drunk
I don’t understand! Two whiskeys in a Six foot man!
Why is he so fucking piss drunk!?!?
Why am I holding back his hair?
He threw up in my bathroom and he
Picked himself up with my shower curtain, which was
The batman signal. Was a gift, mind you
Very fucking cool shower curtain–does it matter? Decide for yourself, I guess
Anyway he was so drunk he barfed everywhere and then
Destroyed my shower curtain and then
He passed out on my couch
But he wasn’t breathing?!
Again, this guy had two whiskeys under my supervision
Nobody spiked anything we were just playing
Euphoniums and talking about women
It was all totally fucking fine
Until mr. pregame turned blue
So I called the ambulance
Who was furious with me
They told he me was just drunk and they
Berated me for calling them, and then they
Held his nose for two seconds and he
Immediately woke up
Now I know to do that, I guess.
My friend was so angry with me
For calling the ambulance
It cost him $2000, even with his
Dad’s insurance. We haven’t talked since.
In my defense, he was blue
Not breathing, and not responding for
Over an hour.
Making friends in America is
Hard when everything ends up being