What We Think We Are

I am a

Trans masculine


AFAB demisexual

Fat, white, angry asshole and

I have been kicked out of

Every single club I’ve tried to join

The world keeps telling me that

Queer people are accepting and diverse and yet

I have never felt welcome in a

Queer space. I wonder if it is

Me? Or them.

I have to point out that

All of these people

Are part of the society

That they feel rejected by, so perhaps

My sense of rejection

Is innate, within me

Perhaps the rejection my parents showed me

Is burned into my brain, and I cannot

Trust other people or their intentions.

Perhaps this group of people

Is not meant to be joined

By anything

Perhaps sexuality

Is not an identity?

Perhaps what binds us

Is an overwhelming need

To find community

Within a band of rejects

That can’t trust anyone and

Doesn’t believe that they are

Really supposed to be there!

I’m not gay enough or

Trans enough or

Pretty enough or

Masc enough, I’m not

Enough for society, so naturally

When I go to my new community

I carry my old bullshit with me, and

I try to bond with others, about my pain and

Instead they all have different pains and

Different bullshit and none of it is compatible

What if sexuality

Isn’t an identity at all

And that we will have to

See past our differences and

Unite over things like

Kindness, decency, love, respect–

Intimacy ! Family !

What if the queer community

Stopped excluding its own members

And started including things we all

Need, instead of just

Calling ourselves

What we think we are

And insisting that the

Label is enough, when we all know–

Nothing is

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