Juan Ponce De Leon

One ponce de Leon, please.

Oh sorry, right–

Juan.

Juan Ponce De Leon

The guy who spent his whole life

Searching for the

Fountain of youth

Like a fucking idiot

He was all like

“I know where it is!!”

The thing about

Impossible tasks

Is that I

Fucking hate them

Why did I wait

Until I was almost

28

To acknowledge that I’d

Rather try to live as a man?

Perhaps because it is

Impossible, from my perspective.

Rational, efficient,

Unforgiving and unrelenting

I cannot sit here

And pretend

As if I didn’t think

Ponce De Leon

Was a total fucking idiot

First time I heard about

The shit he was doing

Way back in elementary school

I think I even

Said so, loudly

Which was rare because I was

Mute as a kid. Anyway.

Ponce de Leon was chasing after

Something impossible

And to me

There are no surgeries

That I want

There are no features

That I crave

I simply want to be

Born again as a man

And take very, very

Thorough notes this time around

Perhaps in my next life will I

Find my blog and

Feel compelled to understand me

The way I have been drawn

To so many things I would never have

Stumbled upon prior

My insatiable curiosity

To understand my gender

Has been an impossible quest

Similar to youth or perhaps

Happiness, love, war and peace

But unlike these

It is irrelevant to everyone

But me, and this makes it seem

Selfish and short-sighted

But I can’t help but be

Drawn like a magnet

To wondering and writing and

Trying to get to the

Source of this fountain

I guess that’s why it always feels

Like I’m swimming upstream


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