Anger and Pity

Sometimes I wake up

And I feel

Exactly the same

As if I had never transitioned

It’s then that I hear the demons

Screaming and chanting, and before you know it–

I’m in a drum circle

Sacrificing myself

The most idiotic, futile experiment

Got the results I needed, so now

I get up and I head to the bathroom

To do this, to end it

To finish it–

And I see my shoulders, my

Upper arm hair patch. I see my

Brow sticking out over my eyelids,

Full, thick and self-important

I notice that my arms are

Fully-carpeted, and that my

Piss reeks like a man’s

And then my day starts

And I pretend like I didn’t

Wake up with a head full of

Anger and Pity, I pretend like

I didn’t want to end it

Five fucking seconds ago

Like some weak-willed ninny


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