Quarantined and Transitioning

I’m finally at a point in my transition

Where I feel noticeably different

Than I used to

Most all of the time.

I still struggle with my chest and my

History of being female, but like—

For the most part

The hair is everywhere, my skin is

Thick and helpful and tough and

My muscles are easily bearing the brunt

Of my old self, my new self settling in

So comfortably I almost don’t want any

Visitors, yes I know it’s quarantine, but—

I’m glad it is, I get to sit and enjoy

My thickening boy-body all alone

Hard and soft, did I mention hair…? So much

So much new it’s hard to compare to

What used to be, so much so I just

Don’t. What a blessing !

As hard and depressing as all this isolation is

No one is at war in my mind anymore

I just am, so much so I sometimes even forget

That I was, which makes me so happy I can’t even

Imagine going back to work, where everyone knew me

As either a “trans person”, or

As this strange woman I still haven’t met and

Never understood. Here, all alone

With no one but my partner and my cat chiming in

I am him

I am blissed, and

This loneliness is a gift

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