I Am Misery

When my ex left me I swore to myself I’d never let anybody Hurt me like that again I got cocky, I assumed People only matter matter when you Fuck and move in Friends are just friends They only matter so much True, and undeniably My life goes on exactly the same No matter what, […]


I guess I’ll just Sit on the bus And take up a Little space as I can So you all don’t Stab me with your pens Until I’ve retired And buried my kids I have no doubt I’ll survive the apocalypse So y’all can Use me for Entertainment

Last Name Strong

I’ve decided I need A very macho name Ericsson Erik, you know The k kind Roberts With an s You know Like, Last name strong But a first name Something that matches My energies I have Gargantuan dick energy So I need an Appropriately massive name

How Are You Vacationing So Much

I just Think it’s really weird That my cousin Who is a hairstylist In Chillicothe Ohio Takes vacations in Panama and Jamaica and Tropical paradises Pretty fucking often Too often For someone who cuts hair Not sure what’s happening here

Mention Me

I was like Maybe he forgot who I was Because you fucking Told people that I quit But then I laughed So hard I pissed– As if you’d Ever, ever Mention me!! The association On its own Would make you queasy šŸ¤£šŸ˜‚šŸ¤£šŸ˜‚